Thursday, 14 April 2011

Feeling down

I always try to stay positive. I am a half full and an optomist, although I usually  look between the lines which can be quite tiring at times.
Well, I am feeling a bit low, as its sometimes hard to stay bright when you are never on top of things. I hate money and the issues surounding it, which is almost everything. I am behind with my TV licence and keep getting calls. I am on a payment plan £8.50 a fortnight. I was also paying a fine for not having a licence for 8 weeks some years ago, but as I struggled to pay the fine and the licence, I got another fine which I ended up in court for. This is just a quick glance at my issues. I guess I could not have a TV, but then how do you overcome things like not being able to buy decent food, or have the heating on very much, so much so that the pipes burst as they got so cold. Advice was to put heating on more, daaah, how do you buy new clothes, give your kids money for evenings out with friends, never mind I would benefit loads from a day or night out.  I have done nothing wrong yet feel I am somewhat punished for being unemployed. People have a view now that Benefits means cars, posh house, lazy, better off than those who work. Well let me tell you its garbage. It is a miserable exisitence as you not only find it difficult to manage financially, emotionally but have to defend yourself, not to mention the hoops you have to jump through daily to satisfy a system that is so wrong.

Back to where I was (TV licence)  I explained to the judge that the reason I wasnt keeping up payments is I could not physically afford to, it was not that I didn't want to pay it. I explained about how much I get and what the law says I should live on - which I was getting less than, as I owed the social fund money, which I was paying back at £18 per week - which then took me to just over £45 per week not including my CTC  child tax credit, but my personal allowance, what the Law said I need to live on.
I questioned it as they wanted me to pay £10 pw and that was really good as they seemed to understand, and decided I should pay £5 pw as well as costs and my liecence as well. Well the fine is at last paid, but I am behind again.
I rob Peter to pay Paul week in week out.
It has been a bit easier since I do not need the heating on as much.

I really do not want pitty but am feeling abit sorry for myself. I am fit, never hardly ill and a decent person if I do say so myself, and commit to things 110% -  and just want a job.

I do not know what else to do. I am constantly looking and  applying for jobs. I will adapt to anything and have done no less than 15 training courses most of them have been as a result of my volunteer role.  I have done others elsewhere. Volunteering has given me a chance to learn about all sorts eg issues affecting people in our area, people in general, a wide range of issues, customer care and service , I received funding for my NVQ in Information Advice and Guidance which I recently completed.  I got a call today from the lady who was my assessor, she is bringing me my portfolio and certificate on monday - whoooo!

I just do not dare to think this is it for me. I feel with the job market as is at present and the amount of people unemployed or facing it in near future then what is to become of me and others.  All this is no good for your mental health. I am lucky in a way as not much gets to me.  But you can only take so much untill things start getting to you.

I have to sign on again tomorrow, and yet again provide evidence of all these jobs I am appling for. I have applied to almost every business, company and organisation  in Chesterfield,  then Sheffield,  my most crazy one to date is London,   mmmm   lets say if I was lucky enough to even get an interview, you can not get any help for travel anymore. I know its a bit extreme the one I just mentioned but, seriously, not even the bus fare to my town, not one penny. 
You see, I never look at reasons why I couldn't, I always look at how I could or how I will.
As ever hopefull x

1 comment:

  1. Once you have found the job that you are really interested in, the interview is your first chance to impress those who are having the power to hire you. Now you should not come across as either too strong or look arrogant. In case you are too weak you will look like as if you lack confidence. Hence you need to prepare to impress but not overwhelm and also get the job you want.So you need to dress appropriately for the interview. You should always dress in professional attire even if the job happens to be a blue collar job. The fact that you have taken the time to make yourself presentable will definitely impress the people interviewing you. In case the actual job attire is casual, you can be a bit less formal after you get the job.

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